Shahin - 1989

2010-04-24T18:06:00.004+04:30

Shahin is 20 years older than me. She is the only person in our home who has her own room. And she is the only person who has two big bookshelves. I think she is the boss in our house. Because my mother and my father always accept what she says. She has recently returned home. When we had bombardments she was teaching in a small city with a funny name. And now that war is over, she has returned home.

Shahin is a supporter of Imam Khomeini and my father doesn't curse Imam Khomeini when she is around. Shahin has studies theology in the university. She is always fighting with Sholeh who is 2 years younger than her. Sholeh has studied sociology. She is also a supporter of Imam Khomeini.

Sholeh has married in their university. And she comes home only for the new year. I don't know her that much. But her perfume smells good. Sometimes I'm scared of her.

Shahin doesn't let my father listen to BBC and Voice Of America. I don't know why. I am scared of radio Israel announcer's voice. She is a mean woman. I think she is "cannibal". Whenever my father listens to VOA Shahin starts arguing with him and my father says she has become a "mullah". I don't like mullahs. But I always say my prayers, because if I don't do this I will go to hell. Each time I say my prayers I will be given a golden brick in heaven. Although I don't know why it is golden, is it OK to be money minded in the other world? Besides each time we do a sin all that we have gained will be burned. I think these are all lies.

I don't know why God exists. Shahin has told me that I shouldn't think about God's constitution otherwise I will become crazy. Constitution is a hard word. But I think she means I shouldn't think about what God is made of. She tells me that I ask too many questions, and laughs at me.

I know that Shahin knows a lot but she doesn't want to tell us the truth. I have heard that God is very big, I thought God must be in the skies. But Shahin says God is everywhere. This is stupid, I mean if God is everywhere, well, is he also in our pants? But I can't ask this from Shahin. I asked her so why can't we see him?! She said because he is invisible. I asked "like the air? So you think air is the God?" She laughed and said God has no volume. I didn't know what volume means. I have just started to go to school. Beside being stupid, Shahin is a sneak because she said everything that I told her to her fat friend so she can also laugh at me, I bet they are laughing at me in their stomachs for selling their lies.

But if they are telling the truth I will definitely go to hell because I didn't believe what they said. So I don't wanna die at all, Mahdi and Sara will think the same if they are not stupid.

I have recently found out that Shahin has been the boss in the Islamic Student Society in her college. Arrogant people always want to be boss. Like when me, Mahdi, Sara and Mamad play games Mamad always wants to be the boss. And if he can't be the boss he won't let us play.

Birth

2008-07-02T20:10:00.002+04:30

My birth is the first knell of a bell

on the old belfry of a chapel

tolling my end

In the land of wind

Nostalgic Memories of a Phrenetic Mind

Shahin - 1989

Birth